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Talk:Smells Like Teen Spirit/@comment-6196215-20140913064816
I'm at a point where I think, if I was a good person like ppl will comfort me by saying all this wouldn't happen to me, all the bad stuff. But, something hit me like a brick this afternoon, around 6 or 7, ider what it was, but anyways... I went to sleep and when I woke it was like 10. I went out and asked my parents wat they made for dinner. I said it sort of condesending tho prolly..they also didn't make me anything last night. And my dad won't make dinner if my mom isn't home bc he doesn't care about me. Anyways they went out and didn't care enough to feed their kids ... even tho i didn't eat all day. And they're mad at ME like idk what i did wrong ��and sure I may be 18 and an adult ig in April but I'm still your kid. I just hate so much how they treat me like a child all the time and the monent its convenient for them they'll blame it on me bc I should be more of my age. They have a lock on my internet, it shuts off at 10pm on school nights, what am i 12? They wouldn't expect a 12 year old to make their own food tho right? Either way it be, I'm still their kid, I may be close to the point, but I'm still not an adult. Even if I was...shouldn't u care more about ur child? Its been like this for years. Long as i can remember. They never really cared about me..it doesn't feel like it anyways. Everything's my fault. When i woke up i was watching that 'how not to react when ur child is gay' or w.e that video is called... but anyways.. i was watching it and it makes me realize more how i want out of this home. I mean, also my parents monitor what i do on my phone, comp..my dad has hacked several of my emails (i actually found a paper where he wrote down my emails before) and a lot of them i can't use anymore.. they know who i kik or used to kik. They know who i Skype. They know im gay because of monitoring me and they've even told me they know but it wasn't in a way like "i still accept u" it was in a way like, they just asked me if im texting a girl, not a boy, not a friend a girl..which granted, i was. But they knew and she was sorta laughing at me bc it scared me.. like im a joke(v religious, they still try to force me to go to church). I just want to leave as soon as i can but i can't. Im too stupid for scholarships for away schools, too poor to go away to any school anyways... i have nowhere to go, no friends.. nothing. I feel like I'm stuck here for the rest of my life and I don't think I can handle it. They were yelling at ME because I didn't make myself food..damn it I'm ur child. And then I locked myself in my room since and I have no intention of coming out ... they're also mad at me for locking the door, Idk what they expect of me. I really just don't wanna leave my room and be around them. ..anyone in my immediate life bc im just disposable trash to everyone i know. But what other choice do i have. Im just so hopeless. Idk how much longer i will last sry everyone